Time for Change
It is 10 days post Chemo #2. After a rougher than expected post-chemo experience, I am now seeing a pretty quick shift back to feeling normal.
Thankfully, I had a scheduled check-up at the Cancer Center yesterday and my bloodwork confirmed my prolonged weakness and ickiness was due to dehydration.
After having a bag of I.V. of fluids infused with some additional meds for inflammation and a dose of Potassium for good measure, I made a shift. I walked out of the Cancer Center at my full height, rather than the bent-over-sick–gait which carried me through the doors earlier in the day.
On returning home, a good nap topped off my energy tank, followed by my eating my first real meal in 10 days, which I thoroughly enjoyed, while actually sitting at the table rather than being served on my love seat throne.
As I feel complete gratitude for this physical shift my mind goes to creating a list of changes I intend to implement so I will continue to regain my strength allowing me to return for Chemo #3 in eleven days and begin this process again.
#1 It is time for me to move more than I am still. I’m not planning on over-doing it and risking a backslide, but to intentionally follow this new influx of energy to allow me to move in the direction of what feels right for me. I will get outdoors today…to walk…and maybe even get on my yoga mat for a while. Downward Dogs and Pigeon Pose always heal whatever ails me.
#2 It is time Cinderfella (nickname for my caregiving husband) to have some time off. I’m concerned about his devotion to caring for me will cause a deficit for him. It is always about balance, right?
#3 Spend most of my free time drinking. I mean water, juice, broth, tea etc, of course. Dehydration occurred this round in spite of my already being conscious of pushing fluids. I apparently need more than average.
#4 I will amp up my gratitude for all of my current blessings. When I focus on how this current episode of my life is evolving, I realize it could be so much worse if it was not for all the gifts I have in my life such as my support team of friends and family, my comfortable home base where I can recover, my community cancer center etc. I automatically feel lighter, happier and even confident since I am reminded this is all temporary and I have everything I need to recover fully.
#5 I need to make a mental shift from ill to healthy. I can see how one can get stuck in a pattern of behavior when not feeling well that does not serve them overall, so I want to be sure to be conscious and intentional to treat myself in a way (in any given moment) that actually serves my highest good. I believe with the right mindset I will experience full recovery to my usual vibrantly healthy self.
As I read back on these changes I intend to create, I’m noticing they aren’t really different than what one might make in their life, in general when they feel as if they are “off” their game.
Perhaps this cancer experience for me is actually just another one of those life lessons we all experience that reminds us we are always in charge of how we roll.