Being Like a Lizard
It is day #4 post Chemo treatment #4.
I am surprised and very happy to report that although I don’t have even half of my usual energy, the ick I typcially expereience at this point and for several days beyond, is much less. I fully expected and was prepared to be residing in my usual dark hole for another 5 days or so.
It may seem odd to be celebrating simply not being as sick as usual, but for me, it is astounding since every “feel good day” (or even a close facsimle) I experience is a delight beyond measure. I vow to remember the joy and appreciation of being able to do what I feel like doing and having the freedom to do it once this adventure is behind me.
As an extra bonus of this less than usual ick, the sun is shining in Wellsboro. I have spent most of my time since January on the living room sofa looking out at my Fischler St. view, watching it snow and admiring the ice form on the branches of our cedar trees. It has kept me going even on the challenging days, but today, it feels like a new season is here. A season for porch sitting.
When Cinder-Fella (my caregiving husband) first suggested I go out and sit on the porch for awhile so I can be a like a lizard, I was curious what he meant.
It couldn’t be because my skin is dried up and wrinkled since the cortisone given in conjuction with the Chemo treatments has left my skin soft and my face nice and round, kind of like the old Campbell Soup kid on the cans of the 1960’s.
What my husband was suggesting, however, was I go sit in the sun and allow the rays to wake me up and make me feel alive, just like a lizard would experience while relaxing on a flat rock by a pond.
Of course, I soon jumped (or rather shuffled) outside to sun bathe like a lizard on the wicker settee. I have sat on that seat hundreds of times in the past, but today the perspective of a lizard coming alive made it a different experience. I felt warmer, more appreciative and yes, even more alive!
Once again, this cancer experience is teaching me to appreciate every good thing that surrounds me. Sitting in the sun and feeling the breeze swirl around me while watching our American flag blow gracefully from it’s perch, created more joy than I can fit into this blog.
Although I realize winter may not yet be complete, experiencing the joy of a lizard soaking up the sun is an official launch of porch season 2019 and I am very grateful to have such a lovely view and to feel well enough to enjoy it.