It has been my custom for many years to look back through my appointment book on December 31st to reflect on all my life events over the previous twelve months. It has been my way of appreciating all of my life’s activities one more time before closing the book and opening a new one.

This year provided me a totally different experience.

I turned pages for many months with only doctor and chemo appointments filling the lines. Although I was certainly living through those empty pages, I did not have my usual busy schedule to reflect upon.

I was consumed with meeting challenges, learning how strong I actually was, figuring out the secrets of living a joyful life and sitting quietly with a life put on pause, accepting what I could not change.

If you follow this blog you have already learned that gratitude was my life preserver. Even though I was challenged physically, emotionally and spiritually, gratitude always kept me afloat.

Now that I am through the greatest challenges of that time (fingers crossed this is a truth), I am left to reflect on 2019 with joy.

Breast cancer did not kill me, nor did it kill my spirit while eating my joy.

I am already launched into a new year with a renewed strength end sense of who I am, my purpose and my intention to live as boldly as possible. This means I have left behind any traces of self-doubt, fears of failure and regret. The bottom line is I refuse to be encumbered by petty life experiences that distract me from living fully.

I move ahead with not only optimism for what is to come, but a quiet knowing that whatever 2020 brings, I’m in full tilt. I will meet it and be better for it.

So, if you are reflecting on the past year and are not seeing any great accomplishments or tangible results in your life, look more deeply.

What challenging experiences did you survive? What have you learned? How were you blessed in ways that may have been missed at the time? How has 2019 challenged you to step up and be even more present, willing and open to making the most of 2020?

Since we are all here on this planet together, doing the best we can with what we have, I am writing to remind us all that no one gets a free pass that gives them a life without challenges.

Let’s remember as we navigate our own adventures that we can support each other to remember the truth of why we are here. It is not to suffer and eventually die, but to live fully regardless of what shows up.

Bring it on 2020! I’m ready to roll!