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Category: Uncategorized

The Sun Always Shines

Not so long ago I was in a dark place. My metaphorical sun that symbolizes brightness and joy did not appear to be shining. Instead, it felt like a dark grey cloud blocked the warmth and the brightness that typically shines on me. Rather than feeling like my usual happy and joyful self, there were times I struggled to be optimistic that I would ever feel good again. In other words, I was tempted to believe the sun will never shine again. In this post-chemo period, I felt pretty miserable… Read more The Sun Always Shines

Time for Change

It is 10 days post Chemo #2. After a rougher than expected post-chemo experience, I am now seeing a pretty quick shift back to feeling normal. Thankfully, I had a scheduled check-up at the Cancer Center yesterday and my bloodwork confirmed my prolonged weakness and ickiness was due to dehydration. After having a bag of I.V. of fluids infused with some additional meds for inflammation and a dose of Potassium for good measure, I made a shift. I walked out of the Cancer Center at my full height, rather than… Read more Time for Change

The Unexpected

If you have been living on this planet for more than a few decades, you figure out that life does not always go as expected. You can do research, study and specifically prepare for many of the challenges or even the opportunities that may possibly appear in our day to day lives, but the unexpected still happens. . . at least some of the time. What I have learned is NOT an effective tool to deal with the unexpected is to complain about it. Complaining only delays dealing with whatever… Read more The Unexpected

The Little Things

One of my significant learnings on this cancer journey so far is that it is the little things that bring the most comfort. Perhaps it is because when we feel ill our needs get narrowed down the basics. For me, the little things, which are actually big things in disguise all come under the heading of love. When I was hospitalized recently for dehydration and subsequent kidney failure, my husband showed up one day with a big smile on his face and a roll of soft, cushiony Charmin toilet paper… Read more The Little Things

Paused

Once again, I am paused. Like a machine that typically runs smoothly and efficiently, but temporarily has the pause button pushed. I know I will be up and running like a top once again, so I will patiently wait. I pause and wait for the chemo drugs to do their thing. To flow through my body killing cancer cells while I nap or soak in a deep hot bath. I pause and wait for my white blood cells to regenerate due to the Neulasta injection so my immune system can… Read more Paused

A Small World

We have all heard or used the expression, “It’s a small world” and typically we are making the point that if you get to know someone well enough, you will find something in common with them. Although I love this concept of a small world since I believe without question we humans are all connected, a new perspective has recently come to my mind. What I have realized since my breast cancer diagnosis is my world has changed significantly. Before cancer or B.C., my world was quite large. I traveled… Read more A Small World

Unexpected Side Trip

Part of having breast cancer is apparently being ready for the unexpected. Although I was pleased with how well my journey was going, about ten days ago, I took a significant side trip from which I am still recovering. The following is the story of how my breast cancer journey was interrupted as well as some of the learning I picked up along the way. Months ago (long before my diagnosis) I was invited to speak to our local BPW (Business and Professional Women) organization. I was looking forward to… Read more Unexpected Side Trip

Missing Hunger

My hunger has been missing for five days now. I miss it. In my world, hunger is a sign of excellent health and vitality. It’s a sign that my body is functioning well and it is desiring nutrition to keep it going strong. Another reason I miss hunger is that enjoyment always followed when I satisfied it by eating whatever it might have been that I desired. As with many things that occur when one is ill, we realize when it is missing how we took it for granted. Before… Read more Missing Hunger