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Tag: chemo

How I Spent My Vacation from the ICK of Chemo

Due to a special gift of an extra week in between Chemo treatments, on the heels of receiving two blood transfusions, I have felt the best I have since this adventure began in January. It has been such a treat that it feels as if I have had a vacation from Chemo, allowing me to enjoy the treats of life more than ever. It just so happens that today as I type this post I am at the Chemo Spa for my fifth treatment (one more to go). While I… Read more How I Spent My Vacation from the ICK of Chemo

The Elusivity of Desire

As a healthy person (pre-cancer and pre-chemo) desire made regular appearances in my life. For me, having desire was a healthy sign of being alive and engaged with the world. My desires gave me a feeling of being aligned with my purpose and provided me with something to dream about as well as guidance on where I could best spend my time and energy. Desire and energy have always been equal partners. One could not exist without the other. Sometimes desire showed up first, other times, energy led the way.… Read more The Elusivity of Desire

Surprise!

It is now Day 11 post Chemo #4 and although this round started out surprisingly easier than the others, it turned out to be one of the most challenging courses due to prolonged severe fatigue complicated by a low level of Magnesium. Since I spent a lot of time incapacitated and unable to accomplish anything of any physical importance, to amuse myself I focused on simply noticing the surprises I have experienced since my diagnosis and treatment. For my list I will begin at the beginning, a fitting place, it… Read more Surprise!

Being Like a Lizard

It is day #4 post Chemo treatment #4. I am surprised and very happy to report that although I don’t have even half of my usual energy, the ick I typcially expereience at this point and for several days beyond, is much less. I fully expected and was prepared to be residing in my usual dark hole for another 5 days or so. It may seem odd to be celebrating simply not being as sick as usual, but for me, it is astounding since every “feel good day” (or even… Read more Being Like a Lizard

It Could Be Worse

I have two days left before I return to the Cancer Center for my fourth Chemo treatment. With each of my previous treatments I experienced an array of atypical complications and side effects, so I am challenged to stay positive and optimistic about what is to come. It feels like I have two days before I go to the gallows. How will I spend this time of freedom? How can I face what is to come knowing that with each treatment, side effects can tend to worsen? Since my last… Read more It Could Be Worse

Turning the Corner

Since my breast cancer/Chemo experience began, I have found myself repeatedly being in a position of waiting to turn the corner from an icky-sicky state to feeling vibrantly healthy, which was my pre-cancer/chemo normal. When I am in my Chemo recovery stage I can actually visualize myself walking down a street that is dark, ominous and uncomfortable due to adverse elements surrounding me. I can do my best to protect myself from these elements, but still, I feel beaten down by them. I feel weak and not at all like… Read more Turning the Corner

The Chemo Cha Cha

One of the big lessons I’m learning in receiving Chemo is that the whole experience is like a dance. It feels as if the partners in this dance are my body (that physically feels the impact of the chemicals) and my spirit/mind (that has some influence on how I deal with the physical). The tempo and moves in the Chemo Cha Cha can vary from moment to moment depending on which part of me leads and which part follows. No matter what, it is impossible to predict ahead what the… Read more The Chemo Cha Cha

Inspire Thyself

In my regular life (pre-breast cancer) I had a routine to start my day by reading something positive that would inspire me to keep my thoughts fine tuned in a direction that would serve me well. I read a lot of books, would seek out quotes on the internet and read articles in spiritually based magazines. Staying inspired has always been my secret weapon to stay ahead of the curve emotionally, spiritually and even physically while navigating any of life’s challenges that inevitably appear, sometimes without warning. What I have… Read more Inspire Thyself