Time to Pause

It is day 4 after my first chemo treatment. The journey has officially begun.

The past several days have been my opportunity to pause and observe my body’s unique reactions to the chemo drugs and adapt to the changes that are occurring, not to mention the adjustment to the changes in my typically very active and engaged lifestyle.

It has been interesting to watch myself. I say interesting since my physical body has been suffering from fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea and a few other changes that are new to me. What I am grateful for is even though my body has been uncomfortable I am still managing to be in the position of the observer (my highest self) rather than identifying with my physical body only.

If you are not familiar with being an observer the best way I can describe it is as if you are watching a movie and you are the main character on the screen. As you watch yourself going through the variety of life experiences all humans face, many of which are uncomfortable, you observe from a higher place of safety or invulnerability. You can peacefully watch what unfolds in your physical experience in a state of peace trusting that all is well and that the real you (your highest self) is not a body, but a spiritual being, free of physical pain.

As you observe yourself, just as you would while watching a character in a movie, your heart will likely be touched and you may feel compassion for the character as they struggle. You’d likely be mentally urging them on and wanting the best for them. You would also feel unconditional love for that character. You can watch your character’s story unfold without fully taking on their suffering. You know it’s just a movie and you continue to observe with complete interest, curious to see what happens next.

Since I have not previously seen the particular movie I am currently starring in, I watch now with peace and compassion as I predict a happy ending.


    • Your visit put me over the moon! Thank you! So grateful! Since we are all in this thing called ‘life’ together we get to take turns in sharing what we learn. 🙂


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